


Everything Will Be Okay

by MissBMarie



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Gen, M/M, short and sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:28:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29505519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissBMarie/pseuds/MissBMarie
Summary: When she tells them; when she calls Sabine and sits Zeb down and says “I’m pregnant. I’m having Kanen’s baby.” She says it with resolve. Everytime.And yet, it has become to sound more like a mantra.“I’m pregnant. I’m having Kanen’s baby. I’m pregnant. I’m having Kanen’s baby. I’m-”Zeb thinks perhaps she is still convincing herself.--Hera is having a baby, and Zeb doesn't know how to help her. Kallus, however, might be able to assist.
Relationships: Alexsandr Kallus & Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios, Alexsandr Kallus/Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios, Kanan Jarrus & Hera Syndulla
Comments: 18
Kudos: 68





	Everything Will Be Okay

Zeb wishes Sabine had stayed. Not that she’d know much more about pregnancy and childbirth than he would, but at least Hera would have another _female_ around. Though he, Rex and Kallus are eager to help in any way they can, he can tell Hera is withholding. Trying to keep them at arm’s length. He doesn’t know if it’s for their comfort or hers.

But it feels improper to try and force her to talk, to share, so he doesn’t. She’s a smart woman. She’ll know to seek help, and where to find it.

Right?

Sometimes he’s not sure. He knows Hera. Has known her. But a part of her is missing now. It was stolen away. Plucked from her very soul. True, all the remaining specters are now also missing a part of themselves following Kanen’s death and Ezra’s disappearance. But she’s changed the most. She is Hera, but she is different, because she is incomplete.

“And though something new is filling the hole in me...” she says one night, when it’s just the two of them, “I don’t know what it is. It’s foreign. And it’s terrifying...”

She doesn’t know who she is now, or who she is becoming.

Zeb thinks he knows.

She is still General Syndulla. She is still Spector Two.

But she is no longer the other half to Kanen Jarrus. That presence beside her is absent, and she finds that it has resulted in making her feel as empty as the space he no longer occupies.

She is still the pilot of the Ghost.

But its rooms grow more and more empty. No Kanen. No Ezra. Sabine returned to Mandalore. Rex and Kallus have quarters on base. It’s just her, Zeb and Chopper now. And their crew is all but disbanded. Zeb’s taken up the mantle of Chief of Security on Yavin IV. There are no more missions with the Spectors.

She is…

She is going to be a mother.

When she tells them; when she calls Sabine and sits Zeb down and says “I’m pregnant. I’m having Kanen’s baby.” She says it with resolve. Everytime.

And yet, it has become to sound more like a mantra.

_“I’m pregnant. I’m having Kanen’s baby. I’m pregnant. I’m having Kanen’s baby. I’m-”_

Zeb thinks perhaps she is still convincing herself.

At first, the situation isn’t terribly demanding or dire. She has a handful of doctor’s appointments. She feels queasy in the mornings. Then almost overnight, it accelerates. Her stomach grows. She gets aches and pains. Her mobility is becoming limited. She has many more doctor’s appointments, and they are giving her more instructions. More rules. They’re worried about the baby’s safety. She’s grounded. No flying, no going off-world.

They tell her at some point, she’ll be told to take leave. That the stress of her position will put the baby’s and her health in danger. She rues that day. He can see it in the downward twitch of her brow and the twist of her lips.

She says one night, “I’m terrible... because honestly, I resent the baby a little for that.”

But she’ll do it, she told him. Because she wants to have the baby. Kanen’s baby.

Zeb doesn’t know what to do for her. When she hisses in pain. When she worries her lip.

When she feels so very far away from him.

\--

He hasn’t seen much of Kallus since the liberation of Lothal. Not purposefully. There’s just been a lot going on. A war and all. But when the former Imperial happens upon him, he knows immediately that something is wrong.

_Intelligence operatives._

It doesn’t take much prying though. Zeb relays what’s been going on. How useless he feels. Kallus doesn’t say much, but provides reassurances. “It’s okay.” he says, “Everything will be okay. I can help, too.” Zeb initially takes those comforting words as just that. Surface level sympathy. But he’s wrong to assume.

The following day, Kallus is on the Ghost.

“We’re getting more and more recruits everyday.” he tells Hera. “We’re in need of space. Would it be possible for Rex and I to relocate to the Ghost? Free up some rooms?”

Hera agrees. The two of them bring their belongings on board. Sabine’s and Kanen’s rooms remain untouched, much like Ezra’s side of Zeb’s. Without discussion, Rex and Kallus agree to share the one remaining room on the ship.

“Our schedules are all a little unbalanced.” Kallus says later that week, “Could I make a chart assigning tasks and meals based on our availability?”

It makes sense. Soon the Ghost is much more organized than it was before, and some cleaning that had fallen to the back burner is getting addressed. And there’s always food stocked.

Kallus begins sending files to Zeb and Rex. Reading material on Twi’lek pregnancies. He highlights things he deems priority for them to know. This makes it easier to know when Hera is struggling. When she needs certain things to be more accessible. When she needs assistance.

She’s never been a terribly prideful woman. It surprises Zeb that she’s been so silent through this. Not reaching out for help. Suffering on her own.

“I don’t think it’s her intention,” Kallus tells him. “I think she’s just afraid.”

But, Zeb notices, that does change. Slowly, Hera seems less stressed than she was before. Weight falls off her shoulders slowly, in tiny, little pieces. She mentions baby-proofing the Ghost. Kallus already has a list of plans, which he, Zeb, Rex and Chopper implement.

“I had no idea we had this many sockets on this junk heap,” Zeb laments. Kallus laughs at that.

He sees Kallus a lot more, now that he’s living on the Ghost. The first time he walks into the common room to find the man in night pants and a tee shirt he feels the world has tipped on its axis. True, Kallus has certainly unwound a great deal since his days in the Empire. He lets his hair fall free, he wears a comfortable jacket, and he finally found a color that wasn’t gray.

This is different though.

Seeing him clean, seeing him cook, seeing him pad his way to the refresher with his hair sticking up on one side. He doesn’t show a lot of interest in playing Sabacc, but will sit and read novels on his datapad while Rex and Zeb do. He and Hera begin discussing what they’re currently reading. They start reading the same literature.

“ _A two-person reading club_ ,” they say.

The baby kicks. They’re all there for it. Hera grabs Zeb’s hand first. It’s wild. Rex comes over to feel. Hera asks Kallus to as well. He tentatively touches her stomach, and smiles.

She cries with a smile on her face.

Eventually Kallus recommends they accompany her on her appointments. Whoever is available at the time. Also around then, it’s time to start making a nursery.

It takes them two days and several breaks (moments they must step away else they’ll break the materials) to put together the crib.

“Cracking high-level Imperial databases is easier than this,” Kallus mutters as he bites at his lip and mussies his hair. His amber eyes narrow on the instructions, almost accusingly. He sits crossed legged on the floor, folds his arms, and sighs heavily.

Zeb can’t help his laugh, and when he looks up, Kallus turns red.

The weeks before the baby comes are excruciating. Hera is in pain. Sucking in air with every movement. Wincing and touching her stomach, her brows knit in worry. Kallus is so prepared. Has all sorts of natural pain remedies ready. Has food and herbs shipped in from Ryloth. He makes sure anything she could possibly need is within reach, and goes through his checklists over and over to make sure everything is set to go. He cleans daily.

“He’s doing the nesting for me,” Hera jokes to Zeb.

The baby comes.

It’s a cold morning. When there is a knock at his door, it’s Kallus, hustling him to get her go-bag.

Jacen is small and squishy and pink. Except for the flecks of green that kiss the tips of his pointed ears.

He gave Hera a run for her money. Hours upon hours of labor. They never found time to change out of their pajamas. The three of them rotated shifts in the room with her. Chopper stayed the whole time. Near the end, she asked for Zeb. The contractions came closer and closer together. She started talking about Kanen. Stories mostly. Memories of their early days. Zeb had plenty to share.

He got to hold Jacen first. He had many brothers and sisters on Lasan. Held plenty of his nieces and nephews. This kit was just a bit smaller is all. Hera says he’s a natural.

For all his bravado, Rex was a bit nervous.

“You’re sure?” he’d asked Hera. He sat down first, let Zeb ease Jacen into his arms. There was a moment Zeb wasn’t sure if Hera would get her son back.

Kallus was a ball of nerves. All that prepwork and reading still had him loitering at the door. Zeb could smell the fear on him. He moved to pull Kallus into the room, and found the man was shaking.

Kallus subtly shirked away. His smile was thin, and he swallowed thick. He’d never held a baby.

“It’s okay,” Zeb promised. “Everything will be okay. I can help, too”.

At first, Zeb holds Jacen himself and approaches Kallus. He tells Kallus he’s going to move one of his arms away, and that he should wrap both of his around Zeb’s other arm and the baby.

He does. Kallus is still shaking, and Zeb reflectively puts his free hand on his shoulder, rubs there. They stay like that awhile. Kallus looks down at Jacen, and slowly his breathing evens out. Jacen barely fusses.

“Ready?” Zeb asks. Kallus nods but:

“Can you stay right here though?” he asks. Zeb does.

\--

The weeks before the baby came were excruciating. The weeks following the baby arriving were a blur that Zeb thinks one day his brain will block out of his mind _entirely_ just to keep him sane.

Hera is glowing… under the nursery light, because she’s up _once again_ for a feeding.

On Ryloth, it’s apparently very imperative to breastfeed your baby, exclusively. It’s considered unmotherly not to. Hera is not a stickler for tradition, but following her father’s visit, any mention of formula is brushed off. It’s clear she feels pressured.

Eventually Kallus puts his foot down. In the form of a presentation, with data charts to back up the nutritional value of formula, as well as a detailed schedule on which days each of them will be responsible for getting up in her stead.

“Let us help,” he says.

She relents.

Zeb is almost immediately Jacen’s favorite. He’s basically a giant stuffy, after all. Zeb does not hesitate to gloat.

“It’s your body heat, and you’re soft,” Kallus says one night as he pops toys into a bin and puts books back on the shelf. Hera is taking a hot bath, so they’re putting Jacen to bed. Which is Zeb’s speciality.

“Make all the excuses ya like,” he replies, watching Jacen’s little hand fist into his fur, “I’m still the favorite.” Kallus gives him a look before he approaches.

“And you purr,” he retorts, “It’s practically cheating.”

Zeb scoffs as he leans down to place Jacen in his crib. The boy’s a noodle, totally passed out. Kallus laughs.

“But damn if it doesn’t work.” He has both hands on the crib, watching as Jacen sprawls out.

Zeb doesn’t know why he choses then. He’s thought about it for a long while. Too often, probably. Perhaps he should’ve been more tactful. Should have tried flirting in a more normal setting, not over messy breakfast tables, scattered toys or during desperate searches for mismatched socks.

But this is how it played out.

And he’s perfectly good with that.

Kallus must sense it, because he turns to Zeb, looking up through his lashes, and Zeb thinks he turns his head a little, slowly leaning in.

The room is softly lit. It smells like baby, and formula, and Hera’s soap from the other room.

Zeb softly slides a hand around the back of Kallus’s neck, and leans down. At first it’s chaste and brief.

But only at first.

\--

It’s hard, but eventually Ezra’s things are moved out of their room, and into storage, along with Kanen’s few personal items. Kanen’s room is turned into Jacen’s playroom. Rex gets a room to himself when Kallus relocates to Zeb’s.

Jacen is never alone. When mama isn’t around, he has three uncles to pick from. Chopper is practically his sidekick, and Zeb concludes the droid only exacerbates the boy’s shenanigans.

Eventually the war reaches a precipice. Hera must’ve had a gut feeling. She sent Jacen for a visit with grandpa on Ryloth just two weeks before they were deployed to Endor.

When they finally meet the Jedi that ended Palpatine’s reign, Zeb wonders if Hera will mention Jacen. He hasn’t shown any hints of force sensitivity but…

In the end she doesn’t.

Zeb has a long and glorious run as Jacen’s favorite, but when the colorful and cool Aunt Sabine shows up, he knows he’s fallen in the ranking.

“Ah, welcome to the second tier,” Kallus and Rex tease.

But he’s good with that.

Sabine’s visit is brief. She’s off to search for Ezra.

Hera begins to split her time between Ryloth and rebel bases. Though she is still an important figure in their infrastructure, her role slowly lessens.

Eventually, Chava asks Zeb when he’s returning to Lira San.

He thought explaining his relationship with Kal was going to be hard. It wasn’t. They have a home on Lira San, and it’s there they make their marriage vows.

It’s nice. But they miss Jacen, Hera and Rex, and spend as much time off-world as on.

Kal is the first to notice Jacen’s force sensitivity.

Hera panics a little, regretting not telling Luke Skywalker when she had the chance. Kallus immediately digs out Kanen’s remaining texts and data drives, and pours over them. Chopper tells them not to worry about it so much.

That’s about when Ezra comes home.

**Author's Note:**

> This writer is fueled by kudos and comments <3
> 
> Also, I would very much be interested in any song recommendations for a Kalluzeb playlist. And if you're interested in hearing mine:
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6kVtQrGNf4cm4DNl5CVwAG?si=TeogovUiSZaAAxvuURPwIw


End file.
